There’s something about hitting your thirties that makes you want to grab your twenty-something self by the shoulders and say: “Babe, please stop panicking about the inconsequential, silly things.”

I spent most of my twenties either rushing to “catch up” or berating myself for not being further ahead. I was convinced everyone else had the secret - the dream job, the dream body, the dream relationship, the dream bank account.

Let’s be real, I was delusional as f*ck, because.. spoiler: they didn’t.

And honestly? I wouldn’t trade the brain (or the boundaries) I have now for the one I had at 25. Hell NO.

So if you’re in your twenties and feeling behind, or in your thirties still unpacking the hangover of all that pressure… here’s the list I wish someone had handed me (wrapped up in a pretty, red, velvet bow of course).

If it resonates, hit the ❤️ at the bottom (it really helps more people see it), drop a comment with your own lesson, and restack it so it lands on someone’s feed who needs to see these reminders today.

1. You really don’t need your career figured out.

I spent years thinking I was failing because I didn’t have one neat job title. Turns out, curiosity and a willingness to pivot became my superpower. Walk towards the things that light you up - the rest unfolds.

2. Learn your attachment style and work on it.

I thought I was the problem in dating, but I was just anxiously attached and kept picking avoidants’. Understanding that gave me compassion for myself and for them… and made boundaries and communication so much easier.

3. Pre-game your hangovers.

Electrolytes before you start drinking, again before bed, again in the morning. Stick to one type of drink and get yourself home by 1 a.m. You’ll waste a lot less of your twenties in foetal-position regret.

4. Wear SPF 50. Every. Single. Day.

Especially on your face. Don’t even put your face in direct sun if you can help it. Melasma in my late twenties taught me the hard way that prevention is everything.

5. Stop trying to ‘win’ every argument.

Most disagreements aren’t about being right; they’re about trying to understand each other. Go in aiming to see the other person’s perspective... it has the potential to change everything.

6. No one gives a f**k as much as you do.

Truly. Next time you’re afraid to post the photo or wear the bikini, remember - the imaginary critics aren’t real. And if someone does judge, it says more about them than about you. Secure, happy people don’t waste their time picking others apart. FACTS.

7. Stop obsessing over not ageing.

A little Botox is cool, but the energy I wasted on it in my twenties? Wild. I wouldn’t trade the mind I have now for my 25-year-old one. Imagine if we celebrated the wisdom and self-respect that come with age as much as we idolise the way our bodies looked back then.

8. Get comfortable with your own numbers early.

I didn’t wait for anyone else to rescue me, but I did avoid looking at the boring stuff - savings, taxes, investing. I wish I’d started small in my twenties - an auto-transfer into higher-interest savings, a better pension, tracking my expenses. It’s not about having it all together, it’s about not letting avoidance quietly cost you years.

9. Invest in female friendships like you invest in skincare.

Romantic relationships come and go. The friends who cheer for you, sit on the kitchen floor with you, send you unhinged 1 a.m. voice notes on bad dates? They’re the ones you’ll lean on through every era. Don’t let chasing a relationship make you neglect them. EVER.

10. Health isn’t a punishment.

I used to ‘start again on Monday’ with brutal gym plans or cutting calories because I hated my body. It turns out you keep up movement, sleep and nourishing food far more consistently when you do it from self-respect rather than self-loathing. You can’t shame yourself into change; you can only love yourself into evolution.

11. Say yes to things that scare you just enough.

Every big upgrade in my life - travelling solo, moving to New York, launching a business, speaking on a stage - felt slightly above my comfort zone. That’s usually the sweet spot. You don’t need it all figured out before you start.

12. Rest is a power move.

I used to think I’d fall behind if I slowed down. I constantly had 100 tabs open (hi, undiagnosed ADHD). I burned out in my late twenties because I treated rest like a reward. It’s actually the foundation. Nothing makes you glow (or get better ideas) like proper sleep and downtime.

13. Don’t measure your worth by other people’s timelines.

Marriage, babies, house, six-figure salary by 30? The more you cling to that timeline, the more behind you’ll feel. Your path will not look like theirs — and that’s the point.

14. The fun doesn’t expire.

You don’t have to cram in every trip, festival and all-night bar crawl before 30. Some of my best memories came later, because I was more confident in myself and less desperate to prove I was ‘fun’.

What’s one thing you wish you’d known sooner?

I’d love to see the comments fill up with a handbook for the twenty-somethings scrolling through.

If this landed with you, leave a comment, restack it so it lands on someone else’s feed - and subscribe below so you don’t miss the next one.

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Speak soon,

Lx

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’re also likely DEEPLY, EMOTIONALLY tied to Connie baby, Belly & Jere Bear.

Because, yes… I too have been sitting on the edge of my seat during every episode, gobbling up every TikTok watch party video, and mentally living out my own rom-com dreams via The Summer I Turned Pretty storyline.

Nostalgia, first loves, dramatic beach houses, boys fighting over girls (imagine)… all the teenage chaos we were meant to experience but most of us didn’t.

Here’s the truth: I never had that moment. No epic teenage romance. No cinematic first kiss. No “Belly Conklin” summer where suddenly everyone wanted me (they were obviously all mad, because who didn’t want awkward, badly-dressed teenage me?).

And for a long time, I thought that meant I was behind. Like I’d somehow missed the starter gun on love, dating, even becoming THAT girl.

But this summer - the one before I turned 36, something clicked. I realised I couldn’t afford to keep waiting. No more emotionally unavailable men (sorry Conrad). No more putting off my wellbeing until “Monday.” No more ignoring my debt or secretly wishing someone else would swoop in and fix it. No more waiting to be chosen.

Maybe not having that “Summer I Turned Pretty” moment all those years ago was the best thing that ever happened to me. Because instead of being defined by some boy noticing me, I finally decided to notice myself (even if it did take until the ripe old age of 35 to realise that).

And it looked a little different…

Here are the 5 rituals that turned into my own starter pack. They’re not groundbreaking. They’re not Pinterest-perfect. But they have started to change EVERYTHING.

1. Romanticise the Everyday Errand

Teen rom-coms can make even a trip to the corner shop look like a meet-cute. So why not give yourself that energy? I started treating errands like main character moments: headphones in, sunglasses on, strutting down the M&S aisle as if I’m about to bump into Harry Styles (maybe it’s because I DID actually walk past Harry this Summer).

The secret - it’s not about looking PRETTY AF, it’s about feeling it. Your energy is your greatest currency after all. Don’t forget it babe.

If you had your own ‘Summer I Turned Pretty (But For Me)’ starter pack - what’s the first ritual you’d add?

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2. Bi-Weekly Flowers

Every other week I’m now buying myself flowers - the kind that scream ✨main character✨ energy. Think sunflowers that light up a whole room or peonies that make you feel like you’ve got your life together, even if you’re eating pesto pasta over the hob.

It’s not about waiting for someone else to bring them home (we don’t do “someday” gifts anymore). It’s about proof. Proof that you deserve nice things now. Proof that you can create romance in your life without needing a plus one.

Pro tip: leave the wilted ones on display for a day or two longer than you should. Nothing screams “chaotic heroine in her Becoming Her era” like a slightly tragic vase of flowers you refuse to let go of (just make sure you change the water so it doesn’t smell like utter desperation).

3. The Glow-Up Playlist

I made myself a playlist called “The Summer I Turned Pretty (But For Me)” and plan on continuing to play it EVERYWHERE. Getting dressed. Walking to the gym. Making coffee. Dramatic staring-out-the-window moments.

Music hacks your brain into associating songs with eras. So now when I hear Dreams, by the Cranberries, I don’t think about heartbreak, I think - that was me, strutting into my Becoming Her era.

(And yes, I’m sharing THE playlist with you. Because obviously we need a collective soundtrack.)

4. Flirt With Life

This one’s fun. I started complimenting random women on the tube, making eye contact with strangers, actually smiling at them and chatting to baristas instead of just mumbling “oat cappuccino, thanks.”

It’s not about flirting with men (although… go off if that’s your vibe). It’s about letting little sparks of energy make the day feel alive. Flirt with the world and watch how much better it flirts back.

5. Rewrite the Script in Your Notes App

This one is pure chaos (in the best way, obvy). I keep a running list in my Notes app called:

The Becoming ✨HER✨ Delulu List: Chaotic Main Character Edition
(think: delete every dating app ➡️ flirt with strangers in public, buy myself flowers, romanticise paying off debt like it’s a yacht).

It’s something I’ve been quietly building, ready to share when I turn 36 next week. 36 things I’m ready to implement in what I KNOW is going to be my BEST era yet. I shared all the tea on how to build your own, but with purpose in this recent Substack article.

The point isn’t the list itself, it’s that I’ve given myself a script to live by - instead of waiting around for someone else to hand me one. It’s a promise to myself. A commitment to upgrade my life to one I KNOW I deserve.

And honestly, you can name yours whatever makes you feel like the heroine of your own story. Some ideas if you’re stuck:

• “The Hot Girl Healing Era”

• “My Becoming Her Manifesto”

• “The Notes App Main Character Files”

• “The Delulu Glow-Up Starter Pack”

Pick a name that feels fun, chaotic, and YOURS. Because rewriting the script isn’t about being Pinterest-perfect - it’s about reminding yourself that you’re in charge of the narrative now.

And that’s it. That’s how I had my own ‘The Summer I Turned Pretty’, moment. No boys fighting over me. No beach houses. Just a girl realising she was the plot twist all along.

If you take anything from this, let it be this - your glow-up doesn’t need an audience. It just needs you.

These 5 rituals are just the starter pack. The REAL Becoming Her era - the messy, unfiltered, main-character-moment version, this is what I’m sharing over in the paid tier of my Substack. If you’re ready to create your own “Summer I Turned Pretty (But For You),” come join us there.

✨ Lx

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I probably need to start by addressing the elephant in the room. I’ve been QUIET AF (not as quiet as the cool girls, obviously). But, like REALLY quiet. I wrapped up a big work contract, took some well-deserved time off social media and I’m gonna be real here… it was everything I knew it would be (which, definitely scares me because of how much I have to rely on it). I started the Artists Way, read more, slept more and took time to shut down the over consumption. It was so needed and whilst my original Substack article ‘What The Cool Girls Are Quietly Doing Right Now’, continued to have it’s viral moment *takes bow*, I had the breathing space to come up with its sequel. And hey, was I my own muse for this article whilst I had my own quiet moment of protecting MY peace? Maybe, but I’m probably not entirely cool girl status… just yet.

Let me tell you something though… the thing I have noticed. The cool girls? They’re DONE. Done with the noise, done with the drama, done with the endless chase for perfection *sighs*. You’re probably thinking, “What could they possibly be giving up? They (appear) to have it all!” Well, let’s spill some (very British) tea, because it turns out, the real cool girls have figured out a secret: peace. And guess what? It’s NOTHING like the “hustle and grind” lifestyle we’ve been sold for the last few years. It’s quieter, more intentional, and an absolute VIBE.

If you want in girlies, grab your notebook & pen (or fire up your Notion), you’ll want to read through to the end, because I’m not just talking about dropping a few unhealthy habits here. We’re talking about RADICAL PEACE. SO, here they are… everything the cool girls have quietly stopped doing to protect their peace. Oh, and you know I want to know if there’s anything I missed off this list so drop it in the comments if I have.

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1. Stopped overcommitting to social obligations

Look, we’ve all been there - getting dragged into last-minute plans, attending events you’d rather skip, being the “yes” girl because you’re scared of missing out (nahhh, because FOMO ruined my twenties y’all). But, here’s the truth - this “yes” obsession is f**king exhausting (not to mention expensive), and the cool girls know it. They’ve QUIETLY mastered the art of saying no. No more awkwardly saying “yes” to events that bring zero joy or energy. Instead? They’re getting back to the basics - real connections, real downtime, and yep… real peace.

The cool girls aren’t missing out, they’re just putting themselves first. And, spoiler alert, it’s kinda working. If you’re still out there saying yes to every invite in the hopes of staying ‘cool,’ it’s time to rethink your strategy babe. Trust me - peace is the real aspiration here.

Still with me? Good. Ready for the next one? If you w

ant the full rundown on exactly what these cool girls are giving up to protect their peace and trust me, it’s juicier than you think - you’ll need to subscribe. Don’t worry, I’m not asking you to commit right away. You’ve got 7 days free to dive in and see what all the fuss is about. Plus, for those of you who prefer to listen on the go, I’ve added an exclusive audio version of this post. Yes, premium content, doll. For the true cool girls who want in. This isn’t surface-level chit-chat - it’s time to go deeper. 💌

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Hello you gorgeous humans…

This morning I woke up *cough* dragged myself outta bed *cough* to the realisation that over 3,000 people have now hit the ‘subscribe’ button on The Lauren List. Over 3,000 people have chosen to invest in me, my writing, and are now a part of this little (or not so little) community I’m building in this corner of the internet.

I don’t know when I first decided to write, or when I truly felt the sense of belonging that washes over me when my fingers touch the keyboard, but it fills me with a purpose like no other.

Someone asked me recently “what legacy do you want to leave on this earth” and my answer was simple: “I want to be remembered for how I make people feel.” My writing is a big part of that… so I hope you’ll stick around to “feel all the feels” with me - I promise to (try) to make you laugh, cry & feel seen AF, bitch.

Lets rewind to a few weeks ago though. You can imagine my surprise. There I was minding my own business, drinking tea over here in London (coffee actually, but ‘tea’ felt way more quintessentially British), when my phone notifications started popping off more than the day Harry & Megs decided to toodle pip & rightly so… “do one” (as we’d say in London).

After 10 long ass, pretty consistent months (if you’ve also got ADHD IKYK), my first viral post on Substack was a bloody GO-ER. I’d been waiting for this moment since the first time I decided to take the plunge & sign up to Substack.

But you know the hard part in all of this? I’d just committed to a new and unexpected work contract, which meant that my writing was about to be a little inconsistent again and I’d spend the next few weeks overwhelmed with my to-do list, struck with paralysis on trying to juggle the new full-time contract, alongside my love of writing, creating content and connecting with my community.

You’re probably wondering why I’m telling you this… well as a big advocate for great communication I’d be doing you (and myself) a disservice if I didn’t send you a holding note. I’m coming back in just a few weeks and you best believe that amongst all the chaos I’ve been planning the perfect comeback post.

But before that, I’m doing something I’ve never done in the entire 13+ years I’ve been on the internet: I’m taking a break.

No social media. No Substack. No TikTok. And certainly - au revoir to the ‘Gram.

As I write this, I’m spending some time in the Oxford countryside, surrounded by fresh air. I need to breathe, because the weird thing is… I realised I’ve been holding my breath for quite a while now. And I need a small timeout.

SO… I’ll see you in a few weeks.

I already can’t wait.

L x

There’s a certain type of person who’s stopped posting. Yeah, I KNOW you know who I mean. You used to see her everywhere - on your feed, in a sponsored IG story, maybe tagged in someone’s chaotic Ibiza photo dump. Now? She IS quiet on the gram. She’s watching. She’s... kinda thriving?

And she’s definitely doing things DIFFERENTLY.

What used to feel aspirational - the matcha, the boyfriend, the Glossier balm dotcom in rose is feeling a little try-hard now. What’s cool now is (mostly) quieter, more private, weirder (yes, I said it).

It’s less about being hot online, more about being at peace IRL. And the girls who get it? They’re already deep in these trends without even knowing it’s a trend.

OBVS me, being me has been observing from the sidelines ready to spill the tea (SO British of me).

So here it is - the official list of what everyone cool is QUIETLY doing right now:

Before you dive in, and as a quick side note… this article blew up when I first shared it, and I’m so excited to share the sequel in its full glory - What the Cool Girls Have Quietly Stopped Doing to Protect Their Peace.

1. Using LinkedIn like Instagram

Ok, so YEAH she’s more offline, BUT she’s kinda in her intentional business era.

When I recently decided to jump back on Linkedin after a very long hiatus from the ‘professional’ side of my work (influencer marketing, if we’re being nosey)… I was SHOCKED by what I saw. Linkedin was different. like. so. different.

The business girlies were posting soft-lit selfies next to “team reflections” and calling it personal branding. They’ll write captions like:
- “navigating uncertainty with curiosity.”
- “just taking a sec to breathe.”

And you know what? It’s kinda become this NO BS, Instagram 2018 typa place and after initially feeling a little overwhelmed, I’ve now adapted. I’m into it. And yeah, the lighting is good. This is no accident. It’s giving - power move.

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2. Wearing outfits that don’t try to be flattering

I mean if you KNOW me I’m a big advocate of putting the middle finger up to ‘flattering’, but I’ve always felt like the minority with this attitude. Just to clarify BY NO MEANS am I calling myself the trend setter here (unless you think that… in which I’ll take it), but let’s chat about it.

Long skirts that hit mid-calf. Tube socks. Oversized, vintage jackets (and when we say ‘vintage’ now we mean early 2000’s - I KNOW). It’s giving Berlin-based film editor with a trust fund and a podcast about mid-century furniture. You know what? Somehow it works.

They are dressing for THEMSELVES. Not for men. Not for social media.
Also, no one cool is wearing jeans that hug their ass anymore. Fabric is draped, chaotic, sizes ‘too big’.

3. Not “single and looking” - just single. on purpose.

She’s not downloading Hinge again. She’s not joining Raya. She’s not “working on being open.” She is literally so content.

She’s got her flat, her girls, her skincare, her Sunday plans.

She’s living by the moto “what does a man actually add right now?” The last guy tried to explain Stoicism to her and didn’t know who AOC was. So… can we blame her?

Anyway, she’s single and it’s not a phase. It’s the whole damn lifestyle and you know what as a chronically single woman myself, this is a trend I am very happy to take part in.

4. Subscribing to Substacks like they’re zodiac signs

They don’t ask “what’s your star sign?” anymore - they’re all about “what kind of newsletters do you actually open?”, chat.

They’ve got one for essays that make them spiral, one for screenshots of messy group chats, one for long-winded fashion theory, and one that basically functions as their digital diary.

And I have to admit there’s something different about this platform. No algorithm hyper-focus, no brand collabs, just one person with a deep feels POV and a wi-fi connection. Yep, this place feels like my therapy too.

Substack is the new self-definition platform. It’s where they go to feel understood, find language for their own moods, and stay in touch with cultural nuance. It feels romantic, thoughtful and a place where you feel all the feels (just not the sh*tty ones that usually come with doom scrolling).

5. Reading long-form to feel something again

And in saying that… She used to scroll for hours. Now she’s craving essays, not clips. The flex isn’t “I read 3 books this month” - it’s “this one paragraph made me sob and rethink my entire twenties.”

Book clubs. Print subscriptions. Sending your friends links to 3000-word pieces on why everyone you know is burned out and slightly lying about being okay.
Depth is the NEW dopamine. My god and as DEEP girlie, I am SO here for it.

6. Posting less, but commenting strategically

No one cool is spamming the grid anymore (does my sporadic, inconsistent insta posting now count as cool, please)? But they ARE intentionally commenting. They’re showing love in the group chat and in the comments of niche creators.

This is the new soft power. It’s social media chess. Ya know… visibility without overexposure. Influence without trying sort of vibe.

7. Romanticising platonic dependance

The new soulmate is your best friend who shares her Uber log-in and knows your exact skincare lineup. You live together (or may as well). You swap ex-boyfriend stories and supplements.

You go on little platonic honeymoons. You text each other “we are so hot and smart” at 9am on a Tuesday morning. This is the deepest intimacy of our generation. Full stop.

8. Switching from aspiration to aspic

They’re not curating clean girl aesthetics anymore. They’re into WEIRD.

Give them rusted cutlery, goblin candles, fridge-top altars, chunky black furniture (don’t know if I’ll ever get on board with this one), and a lipstick that makes them look half-dead. They want haunted elegance. Offbeat beauty. Soft horror.

You ask where they got it - they say “eBay, 2019.” And that’s the whole point.

9. Listening to podcasts that feel like illicit group chats

She doesn’t want a crisp 30-minute productivity pod. She wants 3 chaotic women interrupting each other for 90 minutes. She wants audio mess, over analysing, side tangents, and talk of petty drama, bad sex, and elite gossip. All the drama, just not her life.

These are the new digital best friends. These are the voices in our own head after all.

10. Treating skincare like a soft power move

They don’t talk about it. But their skin is... incredible.

And no there aren’t any GRWM OR product hauls & absolutely No “my morning routine.”

Just showing up RADIANT like a threat. Like it’s their secret weapon (and they know it). You notice though and when you ask? They smile and say, “nothing really.” It’s skincare as silent superiority.

ANYWAYS…

If you’ve made it this far, you’re either quietly doing all of this already or you’ve taken notes and about to start.

Either way, welcome. The group chat has space. The long skirts are waiting. And yes, your skin is already glowing.

So tell me:
Which one hit a nerve?
Which one are you gatekeeping?
Which one made you text a friend and say “omg literally us” before you even finished the sentence?

👀 Drop it in the comments - I’m nosy.
💌 Subscribe if you want the sequel: What Everyone Cool Has Quietly Stopped Doing (lol).
📲 Forward this to one person who NEEDS to know. Ya know, the one with the 17 open newsletter tabs and 3 shopping baskets full of nothing.

Lx

You know when a place just lives in your head rent-free from the moment you visit? That was Cannes for me - ever since a dreamy little day trip a few Summers ago, I knew I’d be back. I just didn’t know how and when.

It all started with a surprise. My sister’s 40th was fast approaching and, true to form, Mum and I decided to go BIG. What better way to celebrate her than with a sun-drenched escape to the Côte d'Azur? We (by ‘we’ I mean mum), found the dreamiest apartment - the kind that makes you briefly consider giving up your life and moving in permanently. Cue *sips rosé*.

Just when she thought she’d clocked the full surprise, in walked our aunts, whilst we waited for our flight like a real-life French twist (one of them speaks French fluently so we really were going ALL in). Picture her face: pure shock, then immediate “Prosecco for the table”.

As for the packing? I KNEW you’d ask and yes, I relied heavily on this packing list (a.k.a. my Done-for-You, Vacay Packing List That ACTUALLY Works) that so many of you bookmarked and DM’d me about. It was a Cannes classic. No under-packing, no forgotten chargers, just outfits that did the MOST (that I know you’re going to LOVE in this post, so you just wait).

I always like to be real with you so whilst I’m very much in my era of figuring out this whole ‘Substack thing’, I do want you to know that this is the part where we dive into the interesting bits (all the outfit details, apartment links and Cannes tips). Paid insiders get access to even more content, but either way I’m grateful to have you here and can’t thank those enough who do consider investing in my work. Here’s to my love affair with writing.

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I need to start by prefacing that I don’t even know if I’ll hit publish on this post. It’ll probably stay in the drafts and just be a means of ‘letting it all out’ in this moment.

I’m also at a very hormonal point in my cycle so I’ll probably feel completely different next week, but because I needed to ‘let it all out’, I thought - where better than my favourite corner of the internet. You know, the one where not a huge amount of people see my posts and definitely none of those close to me… I don’t even think they’ve subscribed (f**k, if they have).

I always like to be real with you so whilst I’m very much in my era of figuring out this whole ‘Substack thing’, I do want you to know that this is the part where we dive into the interesting bits (all the outfit details, apartment links and Cannes tips). Paid insiders get access to even more content, but either way I’m grateful to have you here and can’t thank those enough who do consider investing in my work. Here’s to my love affair with writing.

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Let’s face it—living in a thin-centric world is exhausting. From magazine spreads that scream “how to dress for your body type” (spoiler: they mean “how to shrink yourself into invisibility”) to racks of clothes that seem to max out at “medium,” it’s enough to make you want to retreat into leggings forever.

We all know how toxic the 90s and 00s were growing up - fr there’s been a lot of noise in recent years over weight loss drugs and even ‘heroin chic’ has made a very loud come back. I get it, it’s really hard sometimes to show up confidently as yourself when it feels like the world is so focused on how you look.

But here’s the tea: confidence isn’t about conforming to someone else’s ideal; it’s about embracing you as you are, and that starts with how you dress. My journey to feeling confident in how I dress hasn’t always been smooth—there were years of tugging at tops, avoiding mirrors, and pretending I was okay with “frumpy chic.” But I’ve learned some tricks that completely shifted my mindset, and I’m sharing them here in the hopes they can do the same for you, if you’re also trying to navigate the pressures that come with dressing in a body that doesn’t feel like it’s always catered to.

As someone who pours countless hours into researching, curating, and testing style tips I share, I believe in giving you the best, most tailored advice possible. From the late nights brain dumping to the deep dives into fashion (and, yes, the occasional styling disaster I aim to save you from!), your paid subscription isn’t just support—it’s a huge part of what keeps this community thriving. By becoming a paid member (and insider), you’re not only getting exclusive insights; you’re helping ensure that I can keep delivering the thoughtful, high-quality content you deserve. Thank you for being here, and for making it possible!

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There’s something incredibly cathartic about making absolute decisions on what does and doesn’t serve you going into a new year, isn’t there?

I’m sure all of my friends are currently sick of the ‘shift’ I keep talking about at any opportunity that arises, but I truly feel like my whole mindset has changed over the last few months.

Up until this point I’ve spent years repeating the same BS habits, thought processes and willing for every year to the one where “things are different”. And yet when it does happen there’s no trying, no forcing, no fighting , it’s almost like a wave of stillness and everything just makes sense.

All of a sudden the affirmations and quotes you’ve been saving or pinning for years finally ring true and you find yourself properly digesting them for the first time ever.

In fact (and this is going to sound CRAZY), even my ADHD feels like it’s on a time out right now AND I’m in my luteal phase as I write this (for real, WTF).

So, this feels like the perfect time to divulge everything I’ve left in 2024 and all the things I’ll be taking into this year, in the hopes it might also inspire you to leave behind the things that don’t serve or inspire you anymore. You can let me know in the comments what you’ve left behind in 2024 and what you’re taking into 2025.

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1. OUT / Goals:

This one feels crazy to say out loud, but probably the most relevant entering a new year. I’ve always been one for goal setting and planning - it’s the dopamine hit I thought my brain needed, but turns out that I actually don’t need that big, long list of goals that actually has me feeling guilty when I don’t hit every single point on the list by December.

2. IN / Reading:

It’s no secret that in 2024 I really found my joy again with reading. Last year I set myself a goal (I know, I know) to read 12 books and ended up at 15. This year, I’d love to read more but no pressure if I don’t. What I do know is the escapism and ability to switch off, reading has brought me. Therefore, it’ll come as no surprise that I’ll happily be taking this resurrected love into this year. If you want to find out what my next read is have a nosey (she’s the first one) at my Books Fave List.

3. IN - Simplicity:

This year is all about pulling things back. Whether it’s simplifying my content strategy, my skincare routine, or even my social calendar, I’m learning that less really is more. I want to be real with you and say at the end of last year I hit the biggest wall in years from a career POV and quite frankly I was mentally exhausted. I’ve since spent a good 6 weeks recharging and stripping away the noise, focusing on what matters—and isn’t that what we’re all striving for? I’ve actually realised simplicity isn’t boring; it’s freeing.

4. IN - Trusting the Process:

I’ve always been someone who wants everything yesterday (such an impatient b**ch, I know). But this year, I’m leaning into the art of patience and trusting that things will unfold exactly as they’re supposed to. It’s about releasing the need to control everything and allowing life to surprise me—in the best possible ways.

5. OUT - ACOTAR:

Ok, so for the people that haven’t read ACOTAR I don’t think this should be applicable to you but for me, it consumed me in the best way possible for a good period of 2024 and I’m ready to let it go (unless of course Sarah J Maas releases the next book this year). In saying that, it has nurtured my love of fantasy books and this is something I’ll very much be taking into the year ahead.

6. IN - Good Hair Care:

As someone who spent a good chunk of last year talking about my hair (and fighting with it), I’ve realised that investing in good hair care isn’t just vanity—it’s self-care. From silk scrunchies to heat protection, I’m treating my locks like they deserve a little TLC. I recently wrote an article with my top tips for healthy, longer hair but if you take just one thing from that article let it be the supplements I’ve been taking which have been a game changer for growth (add 15JSHEALTH at checkout for 15% off). Bonus: healthy hair equals happy vibes IMO.

7. IN - Working WITH my cycle:

Here’s a revolutionary idea: listening to my body. Instead of fighting against my energy dips or pushing through my luteal phase like a hero (IKYK), I’m finally working with my cycle. It’s been a game-changer for my productivity, self-compassion, and even my workouts. Oh, and Feroglobin? Absolute magic in helping with my impending PMS symptoms.

8. OUT - Perfectionism:

Goodbye to the toxic idea that everything needs to be flawless. Whether it’s a messy home, a less-than-perfect workday, or even this article, I’m slowly realising that good enough is actually good enough (trust me this has been a hard one to work through). Life’s too short to strive for an unattainable ideal when imperfect is actually WAY more fun and WAY less self deprecating.

9. IN - Burgundy:

It’s the colour I never knew I needed. Whether it’s a new bag (hello, the Polène look-for-less we’re all so obsessed with atm!) or a bold lip, burgundy has me in a chokehold. I even bought myself some burgundy tights! It’s giving rich, sophisticated, and effortlessly chic—basically, the energy I’m manifesting in 2025.

10. OUT - Scrolling:

Mindless scrolling has been my worst enemy in recent years. This year, I’m setting boundaries, reclaiming my time and focusing on healing my wrist tear. Do I need to know what every single person on Instagram is doing at every moment? F**K NO. And I know it’s ok to set digital boundaries, because I’m truly in the era of being present and choosing IRL connections over digital ones.

11. OUT - Inauthenticity:

If there’s one thing I’m leaving behind, it’s pretending to be someone I’m not. And that’s not saying I’ve been showing up as someone other than me online, but I think before now I was prioritising everyone else before me and not being true to myself. Whether it’s people-pleasing, overcommitting, or suppressing my feelings to keep the peace, I’m done. This year is about showing up as my most unapologetic, authentic self and you know what it feels f**king great.

12. IN - Financial Security:

You might think this kind of goes without saying, but I want to be real with you - this hasn’t been on my agenda. If I’m really honest with myself, I’ve never really had good money habits, but my goal was always to ‘get rich’ (as we’d say). At times my finances have had me in a crippling state of anxiety and what I thought I needed was to strive for insanely high income months which would ‘fix the problem’ and allow me to spend it on material things. The reality is - I. just. need. security. So that’s what I’m now striving for because I’ve very much realised that ‘richness’ comes in many forms and I’m already living a very rich life.

13. IN - Meditation:

This one feels WILD writing down because I used to think meditation wasn’t for me (my ADHD said, “lol, nope”), but turns out I was just doing it wrong. Even a few minutes of intentional breathing or mindfulness a day has been pretty transformational. It doesn’t need to perfect (ahem, point 8), it doesn’t need to be guided or at the same time of the day, every day. It’s just like hitting the reset button for my brain—and honestly, who doesn’t need that?

14. OUT - Lazy Skincare:

I’m officially over the days of falling asleep with my makeup on or half-heartedly slapping on moisturiser. Skincare isn’t just a chore; it’s a ritual. This year, I’m committing to proper routines, double cleansing, and actually using the products I’ve been hoarding. My skin deserves better.

15. OUT - Comparison:

Look, I’ve been guilty of scrolling through Instagram, seeing someone’s ‘perfect life’, and immediately spiralling into “Why don’t I have that?” mode. But honestly, it’s exhausting. This year, I’m stepping back from the comparison hamster wheel because, spoiler alert: it’s not a competition AND double spoiler alert: a lot of it isn’t real. I’m focusing on my lane, my wins, and my joy. Everyone else? You’re doing amazing, sweetie, but I’ll cheer from a healthy distance.

Enough about me and this unfamiliar, but exciting realm I’m currently floating through… what have you left behind in 2024 and what are you taking into this year?

PS: As someone who pours countless hours into researching, curating, and testing style tips I share, I believe in giving you the best, most tailored advice possible. From the late nights brain dumping to the deep dives into fashion (and, yes, the occasional styling disaster I aim to save you from!), your paid subscription isn’t just support—it’s a huge part of what keeps this community thriving. By becoming a paid member, you’re not only getting exclusive insights; you’re helping ensure that I can keep delivering the thoughtful, high-quality content you deserve. Thank you for being here, and for making it possible! As a gentle reminder and as an additional support to my work, this article includes some affiliate links.

I think the anxious avoidant in me wants to run the other way when it comes to getting honest and real (like, really, real) about dating (as much as the actual dating part too).

I fundamentally cannot stand dating. In fact, I detest it for the most part. I’ve always wanted to practice what I preach and be easy, breezy and ‘cool girl’ about dating, but I’m not. I’m either so emotionally wrapped up in someone or I’m so disinterested I forget they exist. There is no in between, no chill mode and it means dating never feels fun and what I imagine it to be. You know… like it does on TV or the TikTok girlies story time vids?

As human beings it scares me how disposable we’ve become when online dating. And I get it, no matter how sucky it might be when someone doesn’t text back (I’m talking about the ones we’ve not met yet), just remember how much content we’re ALL consuming and how many people we’re seeing online ALL THE TIME. Think of how many messages, emails and calls we’re replying to EVERY DAY. Now throw someone into the mix you’ve never met and have no feelings toward. The person you have no loyalty to and who are basically just a virtual personality at that point. You’re probably going to forget to text them back, right? Especially when you know you’re going to prioritise texting your bessie back or finally returning your mum’s call.

I realised recently that I probably suffer from RSD - rejection sensitivity dysphoria. Something which can affect us ADHDers and means we take rejection harder than others. First and foremost this awareness has helped me be a lot kinder to myself when that anxiety sets in, but I also think through all the dating experiences (and my god have there been some), I’ve learnt more and more so how best to wade through the shit that comes with dating. You know, so much so… I might actually be ready in like 25 years? 60 IS THE YEAR (lol).

So how exactly am I navigating things right now? BASICALLY, WHAT WELLIES AM I USING TO TRUDGE THROUGH THE BS?

1. I’m only using one app first of all - I had a few, but honestly when I think of any type of dating success stories, they’ve always come via Hinge and although I’m not using it as much as I should (I do think you need to put the work in so this is something I have to get better at), I think navigating another one can be a little overwhelming.

2. I’m no longer accepting pen pals. If a date isn’t pencilled in within the first few days of messaging, I’m out and no longer afraid of initiating said date. For all the reasons I mentioned above - people have zero loyalty to a virtual person and honestly our time is precious so I’m not about to waste it on texting Ben from St Albans for weeks at a time because he doesn’t know if he’s ready to go on a physical date yet.

3. My space (and home) is off limits for the first few dates. My home is my safe space (like many of you). If something doesn’t go the way I want it to and because I’m so affected by the environment I’m in, I want my home to be somewhere I can compartmentalise and not be reminded of being in that space with Dan the D**k or Simon the snake.

4. In saying that… so is sex, unless of course I fundamentally know that if the person doesn’t speak to me ever again afterwards I’m ok with that (sometimes we absolutely deserve and can have unattached, emotionless sex). Too many lessons learnt from the past with this and in some cases the hurt afterwards isn’t worth the sex (no matter how good it might be).

5. I’m a communicator from the get go. I went on a date with a guy a few months ago who was vulnerable with some personal information and the whole experience massively freaked me out. Not because of what he shared, but the distance and weird texting after that (IKYK). I laid it out that communication was important with whoever I dated next - if he couldn’t be truthful then he wasn’t for me and wished him well.

6. As soon as I’m aware something isn’t moving forward, I delete the entire chat. This has been a BIG one for me as it means I don’t aimlessly scroll through the chat trying to figure out where it ‘went wrong’. As soon as the chat (and them) are gone, It’s like a weight is lifted and I quickly get over it.

7. I think this has been the most important one, but always realising that if someone else is being MASSIVE d**k that’s on them and not you. If someone ghosts you, it’s because THEY can’t communicate (what a sad little life Jane), NOT YOU.

8. EVERY NO IS CLOSER TO A YES. Technically this ruled my life when I was job hunting or working in sales, BUT I apply this to dating too because if I didn’t have hope I wouldn’t still be doing this. So if (like me) you’re also a silly, throw-up-in-a-bucket romantic (secretly), then you’ll realise that every frog is closer to your person (I can’t bring myself to say Prince because I actually might throw up at).

Enough about me though… how are you navigating dating? Maybe there’s something I COMPLETELY missed.

Lx

Living alone can be hard. It can also be f**king amazing - no one to tell you what to do. No one to shout at you to turn the TV down and no one to fight over the last slice of bread with. Shit… and there’s no way I’d easily trade the freedom of being able to starfish every. single. night. But, when it comes to navigating those periods in life where you’re obsessively overthinking something and just need an ear to verbal diarrhoea in. Yeah… those periods can be hard.

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I was told once by a psychic (a pretty good one, might I add) that I should “write and keep on writing” (according to the note in my phone I’ve had saved since 2019).

You see the thing is… I’ve always loved writing but I’ve avoided it. Like, really, really avoided it. Now I know that makes NO sense but I’ve always been scared that committing myself to a writing project in the past (like this one) would make me fall out of love with it. And, I didn’t want writing to ever become a chore… because, honestly when I write (like, truly, truly write) it ignites something in me like no other work does. I’m able to lose myself in the words on the page, articulate myself better than I ever could face to face and with a raging ADHD brain. 

Anyway, I feel like I’ve not properly done an introductory post. And truth be told I wasn’t quite sure what The Lauren List was going to be or how I would show up here. I went back and forth on how vulnerable I wanted to be. Was this somewhere I completely opened up? Or was it a place I kept light hearted and kept sharing the recommendations people often follow me for. 

I settled on a bit of both. Truth be told I love recommending things, but I also know how vulnerable topics can help other people feel less alone and selfishly will probably be quite cathartic, at times. 

I’m turning 35 soon and I kinda want to talk about that, because one of the things I’ve reflected on a lot recently is how I thought this part of my life would look.

And as I started writing this, 35,000 feet in the sky, Andrea Bocelli dramatically playing in the background… I can’t help but feel a little emotional at the heaviness that comes with that. The grief of missing something you never really had feels palpable at times. I know it’ll be a ‘hard relate’ for a lot of you when I say I had this idea of what life was supposed to look like by now. The life I’d visualised as a young girl, a teenager and a young woman. I always thought I’d be married, I’d have children, I’d be thriving in New York and I’d have the white picket fence (or near enough), regularly catching up with friends who were also in their thriving mum era. But it couldn’t be more different and that’s something I regularly think about.

The craziest part is… I’m still struggling to understand if kids are even right for the life I want. It feels very conflicting to be grieving the woman I thought I wanted to be whilst celebrating the woman I’ve become. Because I’m also pretty f**king proud of her too. 

We’ll chat more about life as a 35 year old, single, London gal soon, but in the meantime expect a lot of lists. Life lists, love lists, shopping lists, advice lists and so, so much more.

So… a big welcome to The Lauren List. I couldn’t be more happy to have you here. 

Lx