There’s a certain type of person who’s stopped posting. Yeah, I KNOW you know who I mean. You used to see her everywhere - on your feed, in a sponsored IG story, maybe tagged in someone’s chaotic Ibiza photo dump. Now? She IS quiet on the gram. She’s watching. She’s... kinda thriving?
And she’s definitely doing things DIFFERENTLY.
What used to feel aspirational - the matcha, the boyfriend, the Glossier balm dotcom in rose is feeling a little try-hard now. What’s cool now is (mostly) quieter, more private, weirder (yes, I said it).
It’s less about being hot online, more about being at peace IRL. And the girls who get it? They’re already deep in these trends without even knowing it’s a trend.
OBVS me, being me has been observing from the sidelines ready to spill the tea (SO British of me).
So here it is - the official list of what everyone cool is QUIETLY doing right now:
Before you dive in, and as a quick side note… this article blew up when I first shared it, and I’m so excited to share the sequel in its full glory - What the Cool Girls Have Quietly Stopped Doing to Protect Their Peace.
1. Using LinkedIn like Instagram
Ok, so YEAH she’s more offline, BUT she’s kinda in her intentional business era.
When I recently decided to jump back on Linkedin after a very long hiatus from the ‘professional’ side of my work (influencer marketing, if we’re being nosey)… I was SHOCKED by what I saw. Linkedin was different. like. so. different.
The business girlies were posting soft-lit selfies next to “team reflections” and calling it personal branding. They’ll write captions like:
- “navigating uncertainty with curiosity.”
- “just taking a sec to breathe.”
And you know what? It’s kinda become this NO BS, Instagram 2018 typa place and after initially feeling a little overwhelmed, I’ve now adapted. I’m into it. And yeah, the lighting is good. This is no accident. It’s giving - power move.
2. Wearing outfits that don’t try to be flattering
I mean if you KNOW me I’m a big advocate of putting the middle finger up to ‘flattering’, but I’ve always felt like the minority with this attitude. Just to clarify BY NO MEANS am I calling myself the trend setter here (unless you think that… in which I’ll take it), but let’s chat about it.
Long skirts that hit mid-calf. Tube socks. Oversized, vintage jackets (and when we say ‘vintage’ now we mean early 2000’s - I KNOW). It’s giving Berlin-based film editor with a trust fund and a podcast about mid-century furniture. You know what? Somehow it works.
They are dressing for THEMSELVES. Not for men. Not for social media.
Also, no one cool is wearing jeans that hug their ass anymore. Fabric is draped, chaotic, sizes ‘too big’.
3. Not “single and looking” - just single. on purpose.
She’s not downloading Hinge again. She’s not joining Raya. She’s not “working on being open.” She is literally so content.
She’s got her flat, her girls, her skincare, her Sunday plans.
She’s living by the moto “what does a man actually add right now?” The last guy tried to explain Stoicism to her and didn’t know who AOC was. So… can we blame her?
Anyway, she’s single and it’s not a phase. It’s the whole damn lifestyle and you know what as a chronically single woman myself, this is a trend I am very happy to take part in.
4. Subscribing to Substacks like they’re zodiac signs
They don’t ask “what’s your star sign?” anymore - they’re all about “what kind of newsletters do you actually open?”, chat.
They’ve got one for essays that make them spiral, one for screenshots of messy group chats, one for long-winded fashion theory, and one that basically functions as their digital diary.
And I have to admit there’s something different about this platform. No algorithm hyper-focus, no brand collabs, just one person with a deep feels POV and a wi-fi connection. Yep, this place feels like my therapy too.
Substack is the new self-definition platform. It’s where they go to feel understood, find language for their own moods, and stay in touch with cultural nuance. It feels romantic, thoughtful and a place where you feel all the feels (just not the sh*tty ones that usually come with doom scrolling).
5. Reading long-form to feel something again
And in saying that… She used to scroll for hours. Now she’s craving essays, not clips. The flex isn’t “I read 3 books this month” - it’s “this one paragraph made me sob and rethink my entire twenties.”
Book clubs. Print subscriptions. Sending your friends links to 3000-word pieces on why everyone you know is burned out and slightly lying about being okay.
Depth is the NEW dopamine. My god and as DEEP girlie, I am SO here for it.
6. Posting less, but commenting strategically
No one cool is spamming the grid anymore (does my sporadic, inconsistent insta posting now count as cool, please)? But they ARE intentionally commenting. They’re showing love in the group chat and in the comments of niche creators.
This is the new soft power. It’s social media chess. Ya know… visibility without overexposure. Influence without trying sort of vibe.
7. Romanticising platonic dependance
The new soulmate is your best friend who shares her Uber log-in and knows your exact skincare lineup. You live together (or may as well). You swap ex-boyfriend stories and supplements.
You go on little platonic honeymoons. You text each other “we are so hot and smart” at 9am on a Tuesday morning. This is the deepest intimacy of our generation. Full stop.
8. Switching from aspiration to aspic
They’re not curating clean girl aesthetics anymore. They’re into WEIRD.
Give them rusted cutlery, goblin candles, fridge-top altars, chunky black furniture (don’t know if I’ll ever get on board with this one), and a lipstick that makes them look half-dead. They want haunted elegance. Offbeat beauty. Soft horror.
You ask where they got it - they say “eBay, 2019.” And that’s the whole point.
9. Listening to podcasts that feel like illicit group chats
She doesn’t want a crisp 30-minute productivity pod. She wants 3 chaotic women interrupting each other for 90 minutes. She wants audio mess, over analysing, side tangents, and talk of petty drama, bad sex, and elite gossip. All the drama, just not her life.
These are the new digital best friends. These are the voices in our own head after all.
10. Treating skincare like a soft power move
They don’t talk about it. But their skin is... incredible.
And no there aren’t any GRWM OR product hauls & absolutely No “my morning routine.”
Just showing up RADIANT like a threat. Like it’s their secret weapon (and they know it). You notice though and when you ask? They smile and say, “nothing really.” It’s skincare as silent superiority.
ANYWAYS…
If you’ve made it this far, you’re either quietly doing all of this already or you’ve taken notes and about to start.
Either way, welcome. The group chat has space. The long skirts are waiting. And yes, your skin is already glowing.
So tell me:
Which one hit a nerve?
Which one are you gatekeeping?
Which one made you text a friend and say “omg literally us” before you even finished the sentence?
👀 Drop it in the comments - I’m nosy.
💌 Subscribe if you want the sequel: What Everyone Cool Has Quietly Stopped Doing (lol).
📲 Forward this to one person who NEEDS to know. Ya know, the one with the 17 open newsletter tabs and 3 shopping baskets full of nothing.
Lx
if youre looking for #9 - The After Work Drinks podcast
“Visibility without overexposure” needs to be carved into a tote bag!